Geek's Guide to Online Dating
Back in the early days of the Internet, there was something of a stigma attached to online dating. It was considered sort of nerdy to depend on a computer to match you up with a mate as opposed to the old-fashioned methods of hitting on strangers at bars or being introduced to someone by a coworker. But as time passed and technology improved, we started to do more and more stuff online – including romance.
Now it’s distressingly normal to meet the love of your life over a data connection, and some of the matchmaking services have been in business long enough that if they were people they could go get a drink after work. Come with us on a journey into the wild and wooly world of online dating as we spotlight the leading services and tell you how to make the most of them. Bump this classic jam and start scrolling, friend.
Booting Up Your Booty Call
Let’s lead off with some basic tips on making the most of your online dating experience. Theoretically, it’s a level playing field, but some people managed to rack up matches more than others, and there’s a strategy to it. Here are the cheat codes.
Put Your Best Foot Forward
Let’s be frank: the whole ecosystem of online dating is calibrated around snap judgments. If you’re the kind of person that others have to warm up to, you might have a tough time. But you can make the best of things by polishing your profile to present your best attributes first. This extends to photography, too: make sure that they’re clear and honest but flattering. Maybe don’t take the shot in front of the wall of katanas or holding the anime body pillow. You can bring those up on the second date.
Don’t Take It Too Personal
One of the biggest lessons of online dating is that you’re never going to able to communicate your true personality to somebody on the other end of a screen. So if you send a message to someone and don’t get a response, don’t let it drag you down. It’s a numbers game, and if you don’t put yourself out there you won’t get any results at all. Move on, play the field, and eventually you’ll find your match.
Stay Positive
One of the biggest turnoffs in online dating is negativity. Sure, you might have strong opinions on the decline of your favorite franchise or national politics, but keep it out of your profile. Nobody’s expecting you to be a Pollyanna, but phrases like “I hate” will make potential matches bail on your profile. It’s science!
Don’t Waste Your Time
While it may seem like the polite thing to do to respond to messages from everybody, if you don’t feel a connection don’t draw things out. It’s not only a waste of your time, but also the person on the other end of the line. Many people use online dating services as ways to practice their flirting skills or raise their self-esteem, but that’s not fair to people actually looking for a partner. Don’t be that guy.
Here’s a rundown of the sites and services that we’re most familiar with.
Founded by a duo of Iranian immigrants, Zoosk has a solid reputation as a data-driven dating service that delivers. Originally coded as a Facebook market research app that let users upload and rate videos, the founders discovered that people were using it to arrange hookups, and in 2014 they transitioned into a model where users had to purchase subscriptions to send messages. Instead of relying on questionnaires to develop your personality profile, Zoosk uses “behavioral matchmaking” that monitors your activities on the site and delivers profiles based on it. There are a bunch of different activities and ways to communicate as well, and with a massive user base this is a good all-purpose option.
Widely regarded as the dirtiest of the online dating services, Adult Friend Finder has a reputation for sleaze. But you know, we’re all adults here – sometimes even friendly adults – and there’s no shame in our game. Founder Andrew Conru claims to have created the first online personals site in 1995, and in 1996 created early social network FriendFinder. He soon realized that people were getting horny on there, and AdultFriendFinder was born. Over the years, it’s morphed slowly to a hybrid site that offers both matchmaking and webcam streaming. Let’s be honest with ourselves here: this isn’t the site you’re going to go to to find a long-term soulmate, but online dating is a flower with many petals, some sleazier than the others.
Don’t get sweated by the name – you don’t have to be in the top 1% to use this site. What you do need with a little free time, as the signup process is incredibly exhaustive. Working as an alternative to mobile systems like Tinder, Elite Singles requires new signups to complete a massive questionnaire with tons of fields, and then not only uses those answers to generate matches but also highlights your similarities when you browse their profiles. If you’re willing to put in the work, users love the quality of the matches they receive. This is the service to use if you’re on the market for a long-term relationship.
One of the most well-established sites in the online dating sphere, eHarmony has remained resolutely unchanged since it was founded in 2000. With a patented 29-axis matching system that has been pairing people up for nearly two decades, there’s no way to browse everybody because it restricts you only to see the people the algorithm thinks you’ll vibe with. The site got some pushback from its religious roots and exclusion of same-sex matches, but they’ve been catching up with the 21st century. eHarmony is one of the best values in the online dating sphere.
Focused more towards younger folks, Tinder has changed the way online dating works. Where other sites work like StarCraft, this is more like Candy Crush – fewer strategic decisions, more impulse, and reflex. And yet, somehow it manages to work. Tinder is one of the most popular online dating options in the world right now, with an extremely low barrier to entry. It remains to be seen whether the swiping model is having a neurological effect on our brains, but who cares? Get on out there and date!
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